Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Help

I've probably posted about my discomfort in asking others for help before, but hey, struggles don't go away over night, right? So here I am again. A little better, a little more advanced, because now the problem isn't so much asking for help, but rather, how does one deal with the disappointment when your request for help is (legitimately) turned down? It's disappointing and frustrating, but truly, no one is to blame. I recognize that. 

Still. What do you do as an ask-a-phobic who is trying to recover by mustering the nerve to request a favor, all for not? I dunno. I guess that's the next step in my recovery program yet to be tackled. I have faith I'll get there. But what do I do in the meantime? I still need help, and now I'm frustrated because I'm running out of options. I asked other people for help, so that's a step in the right direction - but they may decline as well. 

Okay, so you can understand a bit more, I made a commitment to someone and now it's being challenged due to a work request. While perhaps work might come first in most minds, I made the previous commitment months ago and will stand by it. That's just who I am. I have yet to go back to the first party and ask them if they can find an alternative person to help them because, while I am sure they'd understand, it's not their responsibility to find ME a replacement. Is that me having too much pride? Or just being an adult? I guess I just have to trust that however this situation pans out is exactly how it was meant to be but I can tell you, I really want the best of both worlds right now! Meet my commitment, find a replacement, and travel for work! Help!

Side note: Mrs. Doubtfire is blaring from the TV in the background. As I half type, half listen I can't help but immediately, and sadly, wonder... What if Robin Williams had asked for help? Could he have asked for help? Where was his genie? And why can't we all be each other's genies to grant wishes of hope and help? Go ahead. Rub and ask.    

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