Opus

It's been a week and a half since my last post. I haven't put myself on any type of writing schedule so it's not like I'm "behind" in my goals or anything. Rather, I haven't had the energy or time to sit down and write. Much less, feel like I had anything of value to share. 

I could tell you that the past 10 days have been insane with running straight from work to doctors appointments, band performances and volunteering. I could type that my weekend was full of early morning appointments and family activities. I could share that any minimal "down time" in between these events was filled with laundry, cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping but I'm guessing most people have some variance of these responsibilities too, making them ordinary and not unique to me. 

So, as I review all the "stuff" that has happened, and all the things that got cancelled or rearranged in order to accommodate it, I am reminded of the movie, Mr. Holland's Opus. In one of the final scenes, Mr. Holland sings the song, "Beautiful Boy" by John Lennon. I find the line below the most poignant...  

"Life is what happens when you're busy making plans..."

Speaking of Mr. Holland's Opus, below is an excerpt from a speech given in the movie which always makes me reevaluate what success really is. Referring to the life work of Mr. Holland, who has seemingly failed his goal of writing world famous music... 

     "...I have a feeling that he considers most of his life misspent... So it might be easy for him to consider himself a failure. But, he would be wrong because I think he's achieved a success far beyond riches and fame. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you..."

So is success the "big" stuff in life like getting the 6-figure paying job or being rich and famous? Or is success grown over time in the small stuff? Like the day to day actions that touch people, the day to day conversations, encouragement, and lessons taught and learned that change the people around you? Maybe it's both. Perhaps when referring to the definition of success we are all too often focused on looking for that big, shiny opus in life to notice all the sparkling gems of achievement already scattered at our feet. Here's to keeping your head up, and looking down every once in a while. 

Yep.

No doubt at times I question my being. Why am I here and why are things so difficult at times? But I'm always reminded of the quote shown above and believe I'm exactly where I need to be. 

I consider myself a pretty tough chick, but I pick my battles. I know in picking my battles, therefore choosing to back down from some issues, others see this as a weakness. I personally see it as keeping my emotional and mental energy reserves in tact. Sometimes, I'm worn out and backing down is all I can do to allow for self, mental perseverance. 

I think it's pretty well known of me and my character, that if I'm backing down, it's not over something critical. Perhaps to you, but not to me. And that's what matters most. I will fight when needed because I am strong enough to do so. But I am smart enough to know when I don't have to.