Day 330

 Although I quote this quite often, it still remains hard some days.

Day 329

 

Day 328

 Somedays...

Day 327

 Snow it begins...again.

Day 326

"See how many dead plants you've been watering." is a recent quote I heard. The context behind it was to stop reaching out to people via text, calls, emails or however you communicate and see if they reach out to you when (or if) they feel your absence. If they don't reach out to you or miss you, then you know you've been pouring your energy, your water, onto a dead relationship. While I do find this profound, I don't know that it's 100% accurate. 

Yes, communication and relationships are a give and take. Sometimes however, it's more give than take, there's never a perfect balance I suppose. I have some friends who I know love me dearly, but suck at reaching out. It's just not their thing. I accept that and we know where we stand with each other. There are other, less established relationships however that this quote hits hard with. I know some people only want to hear bad news and encourage the quote "Misery loves company". Those are the plants, the relationships, that need to feel the water shortage immediately. There are also those relationships who enjoy being watered, but never bloom. You know, the people who don't mind hearing from you but the conversation is all about them and then ends without any inquiry about you, your life or well being? Just stop watering!

Besides relationships though, the more I think about it, this quote can and should be applied to habits. Bad habits. Stop watering, stop encouraging, stop repeating bad habits. Let them die. Of course, easier said than done but here's your (my) reminder to do so. Like the statement below says, water what is alive and keep moving forward! Happy Wednesday my friends. Get to weeding out your garden! 

Day 325

It's a new month and I'm trying to be positive but... Yesterday I drove 45 minutes, each way, on crummy roads to go to my 7am physical therapy appointment only to arrive and learn my therapist didn't make it in. Due to the snow. Can I just say, it wasn't snowing yesterday? I tried to take it in stride and got a chiropractic adjustment instead (PT and my chiropractor are in the same building) so the trip wasn't a complete loss. Although I didn't feel the need for an adjustment, I convinced myself that it was for my own good since I took on more shoveling the day before and the adjustment was for preventative measures, right? 

I drove home and now had to figure out how to cram all the physical therapy exercises I was supposed to accomplish before work, into my work day. Thankfully I had a long, non-video conference call that I was able to workout through and complete most of my exercises and stretches. This is now week 7 of no work outs. It's mentally and emotionally taking its toll on me. I continue to ask the therapists if I can do anything - ride a bike? Jog? And keep hearing "No, we need you to get stronger first". I listen but with total disdain and depression. I even dreamt last night that I was running. That's how much I miss moving. Of any kind. Yikes.

As the day continued I received an email that, effective the 15th, we'd be back to our 50% rotation in the office building. This means I'll work one week in our office followed by one week at home and continue to rotate on that schedule until either a complete return to work or another COVID uptick. The news of returning to the office is a catch 22. I'm bored out of my gourd sitting at home however, I have no desire to commute or to be on someone else's mandated schedule. And by "mandated" schedule I mean, the pre-work preparation. Having to be in the office by 8:30am means I must have a regimented morning routine to exercise (do my PT), shower, get ready, have breakfast and be out the door by 7:45. Today, I can wake up at 8:28 if I want to and still make it to my computer, downstairs on time. First world problems, right? I don't disagree. 

In forcing myself to look at the "positives"... I am on week 3 of physical rehab. I'm doing all the work I am supposed to and hopefully, I only have between 1-3 more weeks of this until I can be released to do a little more of my own workouts. As for work, although it will be limited, perhaps the interactions with other co-workers will be beneficial and uplifting. The commute will give me more time driving my new Jeep around - which I do enjoy. Except for the gas mileage, which I knew would be a drastic change from my previous, very economical Honda Civic! As each day passes, the sun shines a little longer and sooner than later Spring will be here (despite what the groundhog said today) and all this will be behind me. I'll hopefully only have these ramblings here as a reminder that this ever happened. Thanks for listening to/reading my COVID induced rant today. 

 

Day 324