Friday, April 14, 2017

Adventure

I've been told by many that I inspire them. That they wish they could be me. That they live vicariously through me. That they want to be me when they grow up.  This is mostly based on my sense of adventure and the activities that I enjoy. Lately though, with life changes, the W.I.L.D. has changed. 

Life gets in the way, ya know? Relationships change, time gets allotted to other activities and quite frankly, I don't have the same energy (mental or physical) to take on the level of craziness that I once did. Yes Virginia, adulting is hard. 

I've noticed my decline in individual activities but take mental note to still do enough "me" things to make me, me. But I was proverbially slapped in the face after having recently posted a comment about an upcoming individual adventure on social media. Someone came up to me in person and commented along the lines of, "There's my girl!". Meaning, that the old adventurous me has been absent far too long. Well, let's take a look at this, shall we?

Perhaps it's true, that these days I have new group adventures that don't inspire or appeal to the masses, but they are adventures none the less. Come on, ever seen how adventurous life can be trying to get an unwilling participant to take medicine they don't want to take? What about figuring out how not to break a leg or twist an ankle while jumping on trampolines with fearless children who are doing somersaults and back-flips, that's definitely an adventure. Taking on any craft activity with children that includes paint, dye, glue or frosting is surely an underrated activity bordering on insanity.

But, because these adventures are far more common in the average household than say, snorkeling with manatees, I can see why some might think I have a "lessened" quality of adventure these days. And they would be wrong. Every day is a new adventure (yes, insert lame optimism here) if you allow it to be one. Most people get in a lull of dreading the activities that you "have to" do versus seeing the day as an opportunity of things you "get" to do. Perhaps because I'm new to the family life, I haven't yet become bitter or learned to take time with them for granted. Whether we're involved in big, exciting activities, or just going for a car ride, I enjoy it for the adventure it is, big or small.

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Strong

I'm currently managing a lot of new relationships in my life and while not all of these relationships are ideal, the fact is, they simply have to occur. The effort of learning how to balance emotions, stick to facts, live in the moment and maintain boundaries can be stressful even on the most perfect of days. And we all know, most days aren't perfect. 

My life these days is pretty complex, perhaps even complicated some days and usually way more stressful than I'd like. People wonder why my life is "so hard", and ask me, "Shouldn't it be easier?".  After all, I've had a rough past at times so don't I deserve a break? 

My response is, I'm given this life because I can handle it. A simple statement, that at times seems passive, but is truth. I know that other people could simply not handle the life I have or what I've been given. That is not to say that I am better than anyone, or that  I have a bad or rough life. It's actually a pretty wonderful life. But lessor people would have thrown in the towel long ago. 


In looking at how I've gotten to where I am today emotionally, I see how years of dealing with crappy people helped build patience, tolerance and perseverance. It helped show me how not to treat others. It showed me all the things I would never want to have happen to, or inflict on someone else. I felt the pain of broken relationships with friends, lovers and even family and endured it. Dare I correct myself to say that I survived it, because while it has taken years of work and mental re-programming, I feel like I can finally say I'm on the opposite side of it (the pain) now. 

Having finally put an end to older, broken relationships I had to wonder - have I traded one set of "broken" for a new one? The fact is, the new relationships I'm working on are indeed hard work and can drive me to tears some days. But, the hard work pays off in many unseen and unadvertised ways. I actually get something out of these new relationships, and that makes me happy. And when I realized that, I immediately stopped questioning myself on the issue. 

I recognize that the relationships of my past, volunteering in an educational program for children, teaching dog obedience lessons to humans of all types of mentalities and ages for over ten years in a classroom setting, and learning the psychology that comes with dog training itself, has prepared me for the life I have today. It is because of these life experiences that I can confidently say, you couldn't handle my life. You weren't meant for my life because you simply haven't walked the path I have in order to get here. I was given this life because I am strong enough to handle it. 

I used to think the tough things in life were some form of universal punishment and would ask "Why me?". But when you can learn to see past the pain of the moment, and know that in some odd way, whatever you're going through now will prepare you to handle some other situation later, you learn that everything in life is a blessing - good or bad. These lessons, no matter how easy, long, or horrible they are to get through, eventually blend together to teach you the skills you need in order to lead strongly, the life you were meant to lead.